🚨 SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: UPWARD MOBILITY MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH

$35.00

“May cause delusions, moral dilemmas, identity crises… and in extreme cases… DEATH.”

Straight from the mouth of Coltrane, the haunted antihero of Playing Coltrane, comes a biting truth too many try to outrun.

This isn't just a quote—it’s a philosophy, a rebuke, a mirror held to the lie of the American Dream.

🔲 Bold Design. Black as Night. Truth in Red.
🔥 Printed with streetwise edge on premium cotton.
🎷 Jazz noir meets literary grit.

Perfect for:

  • Readers who see the trap

  • Rebels in button-down worlds

  • Fixers, dreamers, outcasts, and artists

  • Anyone who’s climbed the ladder and asked, “Was it worth it?”

Wear the warning.
Speak the truth.
Play it in four-four.

đź›’ Grab yours now before they disappear like justice in a corrupt town.

Let me know if you want versions for different sales channels:
• Short & punchy for IG ads
• Subtle literary for email newsletters
• Urban-styled for lifestyle drops

We can build a whole Playing Coltrane merch capsule around this vibe.

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Size:

“May cause delusions, moral dilemmas, identity crises… and in extreme cases… DEATH.”

Straight from the mouth of Coltrane, the haunted antihero of Playing Coltrane, comes a biting truth too many try to outrun.

This isn't just a quote—it’s a philosophy, a rebuke, a mirror held to the lie of the American Dream.

🔲 Bold Design. Black as Night. Truth in Red.
🔥 Printed with streetwise edge on premium cotton.
🎷 Jazz noir meets literary grit.

Perfect for:

  • Readers who see the trap

  • Rebels in button-down worlds

  • Fixers, dreamers, outcasts, and artists

  • Anyone who’s climbed the ladder and asked, “Was it worth it?”

Wear the warning.
Speak the truth.
Play it in four-four.

đź›’ Grab yours now before they disappear like justice in a corrupt town.

Let me know if you want versions for different sales channels:
• Short & punchy for IG ads
• Subtle literary for email newsletters
• Urban-styled for lifestyle drops

We can build a whole Playing Coltrane merch capsule around this vibe.

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz./yd.² (142 g/m²)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!